Don’t wait until you know who you are to get started. When you start, you’ll begin to understand who you are.
My mom gives me the best advice ever. After listening to this Loveumentary podcast episode (http://www.loveumentary.com/episode-32-kiran-and-meimei/), here’s what she said to me via email. Think it’s worth sharing.
The thing is to not second guess what the other person is thinking. And brutal truth, having no secrets is the key because it all comes out of the wash at the end of the day. Try to tell the other person how you truly feel. And if they don’t feel the same way, don’t look at it as rejection but a time saver.
I don’t know if its a human condition or stupidity that people wind up saying stuff that they wish had not, only to end up hurting the other person. If we stop and self-edit what we really want to convey to each other, there would be less game play, and hence, hurt feelings.
I guess its all part of each person’s growth and finding themselves while finding true love for another person.
Anyway, each podcast gives me hope for a good catch! :-)
(PS: My awesome mom is single—so silver fox bachelors, holler.)
You don’t go on a journey around the country to capture 100 great love stories and not think about what it means to find “The One.”
So many of us (women in particular) approach the next potential partner we meet and the first question we ask: “Is this The One?”
That’s a heavy question, isn’t it? It puts a ton of pressure on every interaction. We lose focus. We lose sight of the joy in meeting someone new, discovering who that person is, learning whether we dance well with him or her.
And unfortunately, that’s precisely the reason why we’re rarely able to accurately discern whether the people we get to meet could, in fact, be the one we really want to end up with.
"Is this person the one?"
That question hints at a lack of trust that the universe is unfolding exactly as it should. The truth is, the next person that comes into your life is going to be EXACTLY the one. Maybe it’ll be for a conversation; maybe it’ll be for a lifetime.
The next person you meet will, in fact, be the one. And if there’s a person after that, he or she will be “The One,” too.
You aren’t responsible for predicting the next 50 years of your life whenever you go on a first date. That’s basically what you’re asking yourself to do by starting with the question, “Is this person the one for me?”
Your responsibility is simply to come to each One with an open heart, and an open mind. And let that person teach you what you need to know. So you can be a better woman or man. So you can be the best version of The One for the next One you meet. Because you’re someone else’s future “The One” too, you know.
And, if you’re lucky, you discover the lesson the world has been meaning to teach you all along:
That YOU are the person you’ve been waiting for. You are the limitless source of love. And whether you’re single or in a great relationship or in a relationship you’re questioning, that’s perfect for you.
You are where you are because there’s a lesson (or twenty) that you must learn to evolve to the next best version of you, which brings you closer to your next One.
So embrace where you are. Learn what you can.
The next person who walks into your life will be exactly the right One for the next set of lessons you need to learn.
And if they help you realize that you are, indeed, the One you’ve been waiting for—that there are a million reasons why you’re lovable and worthy…
I think that’s when you should hang on and not let go.
I don’t know about you, but my productivity starts to go out the window when I’m feeling stuck in a job or project, unclear about my goals and priorities, or feeling down about my life’s circumstances or my interpretation of them.
I stop being productive because I don’t know what I’m working toward. And because of it, my self-esteem is low. And because of that, I don’t see the value in my most finite resource: TIME.
You know when I’m most productive?
When I am in flow. When I’m getting enough rest. When I’m fully feeling and owning that I’m 100% responsible for the outcome of my life (and how I perceive the way it’s turning out), and make decisions or shape my thoughts and emotions according to how I desire to process and feel.
If you’re not feeling productive, I’d invite you to not create a time management system, download another app, buy a new planner, or add more stuff to your calendar.
Instead, look at what’s going on in your life that’s causing you to not value your own time. How is that a reflection of where you’re truly struggling to find clarity, meaning, and purpose? How is your procrastination a reflection of your lack of self-esteem or personal sense of value?
If you get clear on where you’re stuck, what you really want, and how to get from where you are to where you want to be, then the inspiration will naturally come to you. You’ll be productive and it’ll take no effort at all—because when you’re clear on what you’re doing, what you want to do (more of or differently) and why it matters to change, then you’ll have boundless determination to make the time to do those very things. Or at the very least, to figure out how to do those things via trial and error.
If you want to make great use of your time, start respecting it.
And if you’re wondering why you haven’t been respecting your time, start looking at how much you respect yourself.
Productivity doesn’t have to be hard. You don’t need fancy systems or more process.
If you’re not feeling productive, all you really need is to check how and why you place the low value you do on your time.
And then do something to up the value.
That’s the only productivity system you really need.
I love the last few lines of this:
Don’t try to be perfect. Just be an excellent example of being human.
How often do we set ourselves up for failure by trying to be our own idea of perfect? And you know what’s really weird? Perfect isn’t even fun.
It’s boring. It makes us un-relatable. Inaccessible. Hard to be around.
You know what is fun, though?
Being unabashedly you, which most definitely includes your quirks. Being okay being a nerd, or goofy, or super serious, or secretly obsessed with cartoon characters or anime. Being fiercely passionate. Being outspoken, but still willing to admit when what you believe may not be the best or right thing. Being willing to look silly. Having an adventurous spirit. Knowing you’ll have fun and make the best of wherever you are and whoever you’re with.
I mean, I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be around that kind of person over a “perfect” person any day of the week.
We forget sometimes that being human is about our flaws as much as it is about our strengths. Our strengths allow us to feel like we have what it takes to grow…but it’s our weaknesses that allow us to connect to and relate with others.
Genuine connection is invaluable.
Where are you trying to be perfect in your life?
- The way you keep your home?
- How you raise your children?
I say: get messy. Be boldly, unabashedly you. Give others the courage to do the same.
That’s part of what it means to live fully: to be okay with all the sides of you, and embrace all the sides of other people.
It’s not about being perfectly.
It’s about being perfectly you.
This is the catch.
We are HARDWIRED for struggle.
Perhaps life isn’t about increasing your sense of worthiness by decreasing your struggle.
…perhaps it is in the midst of your deepest struggle that you understand the depth and breadth of your own worthiness.
You may be hardwired for struggle.
But you are also hardwired for love and belonging.
Will you choose to see it, and experience your worthiness? Will you choose it even in the midst of your strife and imperfection?
It is my deepest desire that you do. And that I do.
You are worthy.
You are worthy.
You are worthy.