just leave.
(Source: licentious-escapade)
What is the most beautiful thing you’ve never seen?
Most of us are quick to see what is broken, flawed, or empty in our relationships. We less frequently see the beauty, perfection, and fullness of them.
But our most loving relationships are like the Northern Lights: unavoidably beautiful, exceptional, and rare. When we spot them, we know almost instantaneously that they will take our breath away. We wonder how we never saw Love like it before.
And then it becomes clear:
Love is the most beautiful thing we never see. We don’t have to see it to know where it lives.
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.” — Steve Jobs
If you ask anyone you consider to be successful how they got to be successful, they will inevitably say something to the effect of, “I worked my tail off.”
When you make up in your mind that you are going to do something and work tirelessly to bring your dream to life, one of two (or both) things will happen:
1.) You will achieve the outcome you set out to create.
2.) You will learn a crazy amount about yourself, your passions, your world.
Either way, you win. Given these two outcomes, you are guaranteed success by default the moment you decide to pursue the crap out of what you love.
So keep dreaming. Keep creating possibilities. Keep getting your hands dirty with the work it takes to bring those possibilities to life.
The future belongs to you.
(Source: changethethought.com)
In our day-to-day lives, we worry greatly about minor things. It’s easy to forget just how fortunate we are.
So what are you worried about today?
A phone bill? A student loan? What restaurant to choose for dinner? Which pair of jeans to buy? How to save up for a vacation?
Stop worry in it’s tracks. Focus on your blessings. Revel in the richness that is your life. And do whatever you can to add richness to other people’s lives, too.
“The point of adversity is not that you’ll “learn valuable lessons.” Rather, the point is that by going through the challenges and difficulties of life, you may develop the sense, over time, that you’re the kind of person who can handle these things. You’re bigger than you think you are. Once you come to that realization, you begin to see the challenges that open you to the hugeness of your soul as perfect. You begin to feel less threatened by these challenges. You begin to feel safe. The universe is no longer a place that hurls daggers at you; it’s a place that hurls at you opportunities for expanding your heart, opening your love, and growing your leadership.” — Michael Ellsberg
(Source: ellsberg.com)
I’ve been thinking a lot about love lately. More specifically, I’ve been thinking about the possibility and process of finding the “love of your life.” It’s a topic that’s piqued my curiosity in the past- but lately, it has crept its way into even my most casual conversations with people.
One recurring theme I heard in these conversations about love was the notion of “The Game.” If you’re human, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It includes absurd ideas like: “When you’re interested in someone, don’t call for three days- you’ll seem desperate,” or “Fill up your social calendar so you aren’t too available,” or “Flirt with other people in front of the person you like to make him/her jealous.”
We get the same message from our friends, the opposite sex, and the media: “If you want someone to be interested in you, you have to play The Game.”
I heard this from so many people that I (insert look of extreme embarrassment here) started to believe it. I may or may not have even road tested a few “game” theories myself. Did it get a guy or two to call back? Sure. But those acts of “gaming” in relationships- however small- seemed incredibly disingenuous. I couldn’t shake the feeling that no matter how many people were trying to convince me otherwise, The Game was a ruse.
I haven’t met the love of my life yet. But I’m confident that one day, I will. And I am equally as confident that I will not win him over by taking days to answer his texts, making pretend I’m booked solid for two weeks straight, or flirting up a storm with other men in front of him. It’s not who I am, and it’s not who I want to be.
Here’s the reality we are afraid to admit: the moment we decide to play The Game is the moment we choose to diverge from being our authentic selves. The only reason the idea is so prevalent in the first place? Because it makes love less scary. It’s a way of shielding ourselves from the pain of rejection- to ensure that we have some upper hand in doing the rejecting - or at the very least, can rationalize and insulate ourselves through the pain should the tables turn.
Love is scary. On the grand scale of risk and reward, love is high up there on both accounts. By choosing to be open to love, we risk everything. Because falling in love = possible rejection = loneliness & pain. But the other option is this:not being open to loving people = guaranteed loneliness & pain. So which is it? which one of the two will you choose?
When it comes to relationships, we get so mired in fear and games that we often miss the point: that the most important thing is to be completely, fully and unabashedly ourselves.
When you meet someone you genuinely like,
Call whenever you feel compelled to do so.
Answer as soon as you want.
Be open to the possibility of love.
Be willing to face rejection and not take it personally.
Be honest and genuine.
Give the person sharing time and space with you a chance to really get to know you.
Don’t put the rest of your life on hold…
But understand that no matter how busy you are, you can always find time for the people you love. Believe in that. Make the time when you find someone worth making the time for.
Maybe some people will lose interest or be turned off by you. Maybe they won’t call you back. Maybe it won’t last beyond a few dates. And that’s OK. They just weren’t the best fit for you, and you don’t need to waste any more of your time worrying about them.
If you want to find the love of your life, all you need to do is be who you are. Because the love of your life is the person who will accept, cherish, and love you right back for being just that: who you are.
No game necessary.
There are a million posts out there about 2012 resolutions that sound something like this:
I will…
“Eat less. Exercise more. Fall in love. Move to a new city. Quit my job. Start my own business. Spend less money on lattes. Lose 15 pounds. Travel around the world. Buy a house. Pay off my credit card debt. Read more books. Organize my apartment. Ask for a raise at work.”
It’s easy to make resolutions. This is the fun part: dreaming about what’s possible. Imagining a better, brighter, happier, healthier, wealthier future in 364 days.
But the question lurking in the back of everyone’s mind right now regarding their personal resolutions is: “Can I really do this?”
And the answer is: ABSOLUTELY, 100% YES.
However, here’s the fine print that you don’t see at the bottom of all those articles:
It will be hard. On some days, your goals will feel impossible. You will want to eat a bowl of truffle mac & cheese. And then after that, you’ll want to devour a plate of warm, homemade chocolate chip cookies. You will prefer to sit on the couch rather than run on a treadmill. You will doubt yourself and your ideas. You will get scared about leaving your job for work you’re more passionate about. It will take longer to raise the initial round of capital for your new business than you thought. You’ll want to spend a lot of money on some ridiculous and totally unnecessary purchase. Your apartment will get messy. And one morning, you’ll wake up and the only damn thing you are going to want is an overpriced $5 latte.
Expect the hard days. They will come. Prepare accordingly.
Embrace the challenging moments - they are lessons in disguise. Learn the lessons you must learn, and then continue to move on with making your resolutions happen.
Remember that there will always be bumps in the road, excuses to fall of the wagon, reasons to quit. Keep going anyway. Keep remembering why you made your resolutions in the first place. The moment things get tough, pause - close your eyes and picture how amazing it’ll be when you make your dreams come true.
What are you waiting for?
This is your year. Make it a kick-ass one, hard days and all.
Recipe for Change!
Founder @emilydubner
Words by @melissajoykong
Design by @ColleenWormsley
It’s really as simple as that. People will find 1,000 ways to rationalize why this phrase isn’t true, arguing that their gut reactions have been off plenty of times before.
But let’s not forget: a gut reaction is very instantaneous. When we are in tune with what our gut feels like- and the more we trust and listen to it- the louder and clearer it becomes. It occurs in that initial moment when we meet someone new, take in fresh information, or find ourselves in a different place for the first time.
Almost immediately after we experience our gut reaction, we are exceptionally good at rationalizing it away.
I think we do this for two big reasons:
1.) Because making such a quick judgment call about a person or a thing seems, well, judgmental. Harsh judgments do happen, but the gut reaction is what occurs before we even have time to make a conscious judgment call about someone.
2.) Dissonance. It makes us feel highly uncomfortable to have two conflicting thoughts or feelings at the same time. In other words, we are particularly great at ignoring our gut reactions when they don’t align with how we want to feel about a new person, place, thing, or idea.
Don’t overcomplicate it.
If you have a feeling in the pit of your stomach that you are about to get screwed over, it’s because you almost certainly will. If your gut is that you can (and want to) really trust and love someone, don’t rationalize why you shouldn’t because your brain takes over and recognizes that love is scary.
Have you ever heard someone say, “Crap! I never should have listened to my gut”?
Yeah, didn’t think so.
Whatever your gut is telling you, seriously, listen. You will not regret it.
(Source: etsy.com)