Fear is what stops us from getting what we really want. 

While I think many of us know this intuitively, few of us genuinely embrace our fears. In truth, the presence of fear is something we can’t avoid- it’s part of the human condition. Just to name a few popular ones: fear of flying, fear of spiders, fear of heights, fear of being wrong, fear of failure, fear of falling, and fear of falling in love. 

I recently recognized the role that fear was playing in my own life during a conversation with a good friend of mine. I was asking him for advice on a relationship that is important to me- but one that I had questions and fear about. Understanding the trepidation in my voice about the situation, he simply asked me:

“What would you do if you were not afraid?” 

The answer to that question changed my entire perspective on the situation, and ultimately, the relationship. What I realized was that fear often stops us from being who we really are- with ourselves and for others. And most of the time, the fear is irrational and completely unfounded. 

When we get beyond it, we often discover what it is we really want to do- the action or way of being that is required for us to get desired results and cultivate our relationships. It does take faith in the future and trust in ourselves and others to move beyond our fears. But the risk of taking a leap to get beyond our fears is minimal compared to what we risk if we never leap at all. 

For instance:

- Those who are afraid of airplanes don’t get to enjoy the feeling of flying. 

- Those who are afraid of spiders don’t get to see the beauty of those crazy critters. 

- Those who are afraid of heights don’t get to marvel at the sight of a bigger picture. 

- Those who are afraid of being wrong don’t get to widen their perspective or connect with people who are different. 

- Those who are afraid of failure don’t get to chase after their dreams. 

- Those who are afraid of falling don’t get to find the fun and excitement in leaping. 

- And those who are afraid of falling in love don’t get to experience the true joy of an open heart and the immense love that inevitably comes in return. 

What are you missing out on as a result of your fears? 

Yes, fear never fully goes away in every area of our lives. So we may as well embrace it! But that being said, sitting in our fear never moves us forward. In fact, it only serves to weigh us down and stop us from getting what it is we are really after. 

So take a minute, and think about what you are afraid of right now. Whatever it is…

what would you do if you were not afraid?
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…Got it? 
Now go do it!