Back in 2008, I set a goal to one day visit every country in the world. With a goal as lofty as that, I promised myself I’d never travel to the same place twice.

And then I met Chicago.

To say I love Chicago would be an understatement. Last weekend, I made my way out to the Windy City for- count it- the ninth time this year. It’s fair to say I’m past the honeymoon stage and I’m ready for engagement. This is the real deal.

Of all the questions I’ve been asked this year, the one I’ve probably gotten asked the most is “Why Chicago?” And just the way anyone truly in love would respond, all I can say is, “When you know, you know.”

For a whole set of reasons that make both complete and no sense, I light up whenever I make my way out to Illinois. Chicago is exciting, calming, challenging, fun, fulfilling, and a breath of fresh air. And the more I visit, the more enamored by the place I become. Native New Yorker and all, that’s how I know it’s the place for me.

Here’s one of the biggest lessons Chicago has taught me so far: 

You have to find your state. I don’t mean state as in “choose one from these fifty.” I mean the state of mind that makes you come alive. For some people, it’s the state of calm. For others, it’s the state of hopeful anticipation. Maybe for you it’s the state of love or amusement.

For me, it’s excitement. I’m at my best when I’m excited about where I am, what I’m doing and who I’m with. Chicago happens to be a place that really excites me. And as a result, I light up whenever I’m there. In Chi town, I feel more energized, joyful, and happy.

What’s your state? What feeling brings out the best in you? When are you happiest?

Once you’ve identified what that is- look for the people, places, work and situations that bring out the best “state” in you. Then go build those relationships, move to that place, take on the work that inspires you, and put yourself in situations where you know you’ll be happy and shine.

If you don’t absolutely love the person you are in a relationship with, the friends that you have, the work that you do, the city you live in or the activities you spend time on, what are you doing? Now is the time to change. Life is too short to be spent in a state of “so-so” or “good enough.”

Live bold. Live on purpose. Live in your best state.

My name is Melissa, and my state of choice is excitement. And Illinois.

What’s yours?